• Chelsey Hoffman

Mom Truth Monday: I'm lonely.

Health is not just about what we eat and how much we exercise. It also involves your mental, spiritual, financial, personal and professional wellbeing. Being a mom of two (Brady 3 & Cora 6 months) I want to start a series about parenthood because we all could use some support, right!? So here it is.. Mom Truth Monday, and I am starting it off with a very vulnerable confession, I am lonely.

As parents, we can feel so much shame and guilt when our every moment/feeling of the day is not bursting with overjoyment, unconditional love, and pure splendidness. We've made these little miracles and get the amazing opportunity to watch them grow and conquer the world. We're told all the time that being a parent is the best thing you'll ever experience; there is no love like it. This is all undeniably true. But there are also a lot of other feelings/moments that are not roses and sunshine. And mine right now is struggling with loneliness.

I am the most fortunate mom because I get to bring my kids to work with me and/or work from home. So since the day I had Brady 3 years ago, together we have been. And now we've added Cora to our crew, tagging along everywhere we go. My husband does not have a typical 9-5. He works 12 hour shifts that most of the time run over into 14-16 hour shifts and sometimes are 5+ days a week. That leaves me home alone with two small children from sunup to sundown more often than not.

By nature I am an extrovert. I thrive from interacting with others and social occasions fill my tank. Working from home and the hubs gone so much means there are very limited occurrences of mingling with others. Unless you count talking to the checkout worker at the grocery store, I can go days with the only person I truly interact with being my husband and for a very short time (he goes to bed an hour after he gets home from work). I didn't even realize that I was feeling lonely until I said it the other day. My husband was talking about a conversation he was having with his coworkers and I felt immense jealousy! I would give anything to talk to anyone over the age of 3 about anything adult related and yet this was just another typical normal moment of his day that he didn't give any thought to. It was in that moment that I blurted out loud "I'm so lonely!" I miss daily adult conversation and interaction with people besides my immediate family. As soon as I said it I felt both guilty and relieved. I know that other parents have it WAY worse, I'm looking at you military spouses, and that I truly have nothing to complain about, our family is healthy and thriving. But this is a real feeling that is keeping me from being my optimal self, which can be like a domino effect, creating ripples in other aspects of my life such as my marriage and my ability to be the best mom I can be. So after practicing some mindfulness and reflecting on this feeling, I decided to take action. Once we are aware of our feelings we are better equipped to handle them. I figured this is a great place to start, hoping through this community I can find comfort in knowing I am not alone.

What have you learned about yourself from parenthood? I would love to hear from you, learn from you, and share your struggles. It seriously does take a village - so lets be villagers! Comment below, email me, or even better let's get together! lol.

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